Sister Rachel Jensen

Week 1 - Entering the Provo MTC

Rachel's companions. Sister Burrap and Sister Johnson. They are going to Russia

Dear Family,

This week was a roller coaster. I'll try to go through each day in this email and hopefully it’s not too much. Just so you guys know, all the way up until 6:00 pm on P-day's (preparation days) I can write back to you, so we can do a little back and forth. So I woke up early, 5:30 am, to wash clothes and write emails, so you guys will get this email early and then I can write you again later. I'll answer anything around 4 my time.

Anyways the first day at the MTC, “that time of the month” came. That was great, because who doesn't want to be emotional on top of all the super emotional and mentally draining stuff throughout the week. Good stuff man (ugh)! Wednesday was just the get-to-know-you stuff and understanding missionary life. My companions, Sister Johnson and Sister Burrap, are Russian missionaries who have been here for about 3 weeks now, and for the first few days I wasn't with them. I had temporary Spanish missionaries for the first few days to go through all the newbie stuff. First day of class was interesting....So I have two teachers Sister Reese, (who you guys know from my pre-MTC mission training), and Brother Muir. Brother Muir was the first one I met. He walked in on the first day and for the first five minutes spoke purely in Georgian, which was........confusing. Oh, I found out I am the 26th Georgian sister missionary! Thursday was another full day, again I had temporary companions and often transferred between people. What’s confusing is that my companions are in the same zone as me, but not my same district. My district is with the Armenian missionaries but I don't see them as often since I am with my companions (going to Russia) and their district more often. During General Conference I was with my district more since my companions sang in the MTC choir that performed at General Conference, and since they were gone for the weekend I was with my district. General Conference was awesome, of course. Monday it was back to class and even more learning, a lot of memorizing and stuff like that. And then Brother Muir was like, so tomorrow (Tuesday) you are going to teach! So that night I had to frantically make a lesson WITHOUT USING THE BOOK OF MORMON and teach this "investigator"(my teacher) a full lesson in Georgian. The beginning was good, the prayer was OK, and then it just went horrible. Let’s just say I am glad that day is over. Tuesday I got a good work out in. A good chunk of the first week I didn't have exercise time so the time I did exercise, I went at it. Some good old stress relieving Tabatas and some cross-fit exercises. I have been trying to eat pretty healthy and I think I'm doing ok so that’s good. Today we go to the temple, and I have class later in the day. You would be surprised just how busy it is on P-days. Oh, and there is an MTC cat, she just wanders around. She's super cute and likes to be pet. Her name ranges between each zone from Bathsheba, Sister Mittens, Stella, etc. Sadly no dogs, but I deal with it. I talked to the Korean missionaries, French missionaries, and especially the Japanese missionaries all in their language, some better than others, so that's cool.

Ok now on to the not-so-fun stuff, the emotional part of this whole week. The first part of the week I struggled a lot, but not in the ways you would think. Yes I struggled with the language, but that wasn't what gave me a hard time. Yes I struggled with waking up, but that wasn't what gave me a hard time. Surprisingly I haven't missed my phone too much. I do however miss all the dog videos I used to watch all the time. What I struggled a lot with was being a solo missionary and being fully shown all my weaknesses, which I already was insecure about. It's hard looking at not only my district, but others who get to talk about their classes and speak their languages with one another. They have a set companion who can help them during the times they need to practice the language as well as make lessons; I however do not. I am a solo missionary who has no one in my class, and companions who, although are amazing and so sweet, don't speak the language I'm learning. And to top it all off we have a bookcase full of BOM in different languages where different districts will try to put their BOM in their language in the middle; I however cannot. It's a stupid thing to think about I know, but on top of already feeling pretty isolated as it is, for some reason not having a BOM in Georgian just threw me over the edge. In the future we will do TRC's which is basically teaching someone who speaks the language (not your teacher), and give lessons to them with your companion; I (again) will do that alone. Just me and the other person. For the first half of the week me and Heavenly Father had some pretty long conversations. Let’s just say, my sheets were definitely stained with tears every night. I kept thinking, "wouldn't it have been better if I went to Japan, I know some of the language and I understand the culture. Wouldn't it have been better if I was called to Korea, I know some of the language and I understand the culture”. Or even, “wouldn't it have been better if I was called to France, I know some of the language and I understand the culture.” I could be surrounded by people who speak the language and just do so much better right?" I just kept asking Heavenly Father, “You got help me with this because I'm not doing so well.” It wasn't until I was just sitting waiting for General Conference to start when I was thinking over these things, when in my head I just had this feeling, "But I called you to Georgia". Talk about being humbled on the spot. But that left me dealing with my weaknesses. Being in a class where you have to answer every question and the pace relies on you leaves you with some pretty negative thoughts sometimes. In normal class people don't really focus on one person, leaving people to get by (which was what I was us to because I was fine learning on my own). But it’s just me and the teacher, so the class truly is focused on one person (me). If I gave a weird answer or I didn't know what to say it was pretty evident since I'm the only student, and as a perfectionist I don't like making mistakes. So with every lesson, it was like “yeah, yet another thing I got to work on". I already kinda suck at the language and now I can't even teach (since what I learned in mission prep was just bring the BOM out and now I can't even do that). Sunday night we watched a talk given by Elder Bednar entitled “Character of Christ”. I would completely suggest you listen to it if you can (look on Youtube). He talked about faith and how to embody characteristics of Christ, and in so doing you can fully be converted and truly endure to the end. He talked about something that struck me that really changed my whole attitude about what I was facing. He basically said stop thinking about yourself, this mission isn't for you. The whole point of a mission is to bring others unto Christ, and during that time you will change. But if you have that the mindset "the mission is meant to change me" then you won't. It's when you look outward, not inward when the miracles begin. Even if you feel inadequate, with the mindset “this is not about me, but for the Lord”, he is able to truly work through you and that mighty change can begin. Hopefully that made sense, it does in my head at least. It's kind of hard to articulate it in writing. After that I felt so much better. There is still sometimes where I look at others and those past feelings slightly surface again, but I remind myself of this phrase, "But I called you to Georgia, to serve the Georgian people" and I always feel better. So right now I'm doing pretty good mentally with some small mental roller coasters during the day, but that’s normal.

On to the physical stuff. Sorry to scare you guys on Tuesday [parent note, we got a call from the MTC that Rachel’s back was hurting]. I’m totally fine, just some back pain. I had this problem before I came to the MTC (it started my junior year), but not as strong and definitely not as frequent. When I sit down for too long my right mid-section on my back starts to ache and just gets worse with the longer I sit. Now that I sit most of the day, it’s gotten a lot worse. I went to the doctors to figure out if my scoliosis was causing that or maybe part of my back is weaker than other areas. I have a physical therapy appointment on Thursday, so that’s fun. Again, SORRY to scare you.

With that that's basically my week in a nut shell, so much happened that if feels like it’s been a full month, it’s crazy. I'm doing good, just taking it a day at a time. I have never prayed so much in my life, but I also have never felt the spirit this much in my life ever before. Until next week!

Sister Jensen

(or Da Jenseni in Georgian{in Georgian you have to put vowels at the end of names})

Rachel's name tag. Notice the white sticker on the bottom of her tag "Solo"
It was marked solo because she is the only missionary in the MTC going to Georgia at this point.
She is training "solo".